Realization

Creation is never a personal phenomenon it is always spontaneous. Creation is always from the nuomenon where the consciousness is not conscious of itself. The words have meaning only to the reader and even when the reading happens the words are manifest in the consciousness and disappear serving its intended purpose cognizable as a phenomenon. The background or the screen in which all this happens is the being which unequivocally states “I AM”. The being drives the chemistry to propel it to be healthy and at the same time the chemistry determines the being. Cognition is taking place on the grounds of consciousness feeding out of all the memories and bodily perception. Memories not only consist of verbal ones but non verbal also. Ego arises when the being identifies ownership to phenomenon of cognition the very phenomenon altering the body chemistry of the process. The identification of ownership is really a fallacy as the totality of cognition is not fully understood by the being. Any cognition is a spontaneous phenomenon and when it is not identified as such? The very symptom of the manifestation of the Ego self. This is the result of the phenomenon wherein the consciousness is conscious of itself.

Realization is the understanding within the consciousness about the fallacy of identification of “I AM” with all the cognition that is arising in consciousness. That the Ego self is really a concept cognizable in consciousness. The understanding that the very “I AM” is really a phenomenon that starts when the brain enters the waking state from deep sleep state. This realization has a ripple effect on the nature of cognition that is taking place in consciousness. The cognition starts becoming unfettered complete even though the cognition is only about watering the plants. Thinking as a result starts getting more clearer. The question of purpose doesn’t arise, benefits become meaningless because there is no experience-r in the cognition. You call them selfless. True there is no self in the normal sense of the world. Is being selfless a phenomenon, it is not, there are only phenomenon of cognition taking place with no sense of self. Does the identification with the name seize? Identification is only a phenomenon and this too takes place with no sense of self, so who identifies whom? Realization is only an understanding and not a cognitive phenomenon, the understanding is in the totality of the entire cognitive process those that are manifest and those that are not.

The body mind with realization becomes the screen on which the whole of the consciousness plays unfettered. The body mind becomes the stage however the stage doesn’t make any claim on the play whatsoever. This is something that cannot be fathomed by concepts because it in itself is not a phenomenon. This is a state of total surrender to the consciousness and what remains is only total fidelity to this consciousness which in advaita traditions is referred to as Bhakti.

Mind

Mind is a great tool in answering questions about any phenomenon in the world. If you want to understand the gravity there are Newton’s laws, want to understand universe the big bang theory, want to understand matter you have the Quantum theory. The conceptual machinery that the mind creates is based on duality- subject and the object, the observed and the observer. This breaking down or division helps in describing our day to day activities and remaining at peace however whenever the mind tries to understand itself this strategy collapses. How do you create a division between self and itself? The mind goes into a tailspin, it stutters to find the zillion conceptual contraptions to figure itself out however a doubt looms- either you are shaken in that insecurity of an awkward non-knowing and get back to the security of mundane life or are resilient enough to probe further. The mind rests in one concept today, discarding it and rests on something else tomorrow.

In the pockets of certainty that one has in the journey there is also a danger that the surety the mind ends up having over concepts palliates it and provides it with sense of security and temporal peace. This security fills one with a sense of gratitude and a pleasurable wondrous experience. Man becomes God. The concepts become dearer and dearer. So dear are the concepts that one develops an insecurity lest that the concepts be taken away. Man writes it down, archives tomes and tomes of eulogies about awe inspiring concepts, collect taxes to build temples to house those scriptures, fight wars to fend of raiders and infidels, Man consumes the whole world. Man gets into a state of insecurity that he wanted to avoid by chasing a tail that he shouldn’t have been chasing.

The mind, great tool but not good enough to conceptualize about itself with the premise of duality. When it comes to the self there is no duality. Observer is the observed, subject is the object, and there is no know-er and the unknown. This has to be obvious if one is dealing with the self. But how does one discard the tool that has seemingly served one so well. Man is so attached with the mind. Man has identified with the mind so intimately; whatever the mind thinks man owns it without question. Man is in love with his most beloved tool- the mind, and all the conceptual contraptions. It is love, the identification of the self with the mind that “I AM”. This is the pinch that holds the self with the world. Is it? Would there be a world if that “I AM” dissolves, would “I AM” be when the world is naught? Would there be light without the Sun and Sun without the light? Isn’t the answer obvious?

Final Journey

Final Journey was a letter I wrote to my KVIIT group following the demise of a dear friend Flying Officer Ronald Kevin Serrao. This was one experience that is a reminder as how important a soldier's life is, as a husband, brother and a son.


22 January 2007

Hi All,

Our dear friend Ronald Kevin Serrao has been laid to rest. May his soul Rest In Peace

I have not known Kevin as well as many of you guys but it does not take much to understand that Kevin loved whatever was optimistic and loved to live a dream and he lived and would continue to live.

The day I heard of the news, I was shocked as all of you and the restlessness within me made me make the trip to Mangalore to seek some sense behind the insanity. Being a single guy with no strings attached and with some element of luck I could make it. Thanks to Vaishu I was able to get the contact number of Gregory Serao (Uncle of Ronnie) and he was gracious to let me know that I could contact him any time no matter how ungodly the time was.

I picked the KSRTC Bus tickets in the evening of 19th and shot of to the Bus station at 2300 hrs to head for Mangalore. I reached Managlore in the Morning at 0700 hrs and got in touch with Gregory and Shelton (Kevin's Cousin). They took me to Kevin's Home (The Nest) where I met John Serao who greeted with a true Army Man handshake. Strong as he wanted to let me know, he broke down immediately when I told him what Kevin ment to all you guys and described him as an "Ace". Inconsolable and at a loss of words he stared away at the Times India Front Page with the story of Kevin's crash, looked at the photograph of Kevin being decorated with a medal . He clutched the paper to his heart as if to replace the ireplacable, a part of himself - Ronald Kevin Serao, a loving son and a gallant soldier.

I sat there sorry at myself for making his dad cry. I was seated next to his dad. He stared at the photograph of Kevin on the Bike in front of his aircraft. He said, "There is the plane that took him along with itself". I was moved and almost had tears well up but I distracted myself thinking of the days at school, the class skit, the debate, and the last time I met him- at Tezpur, Assam where he was posted then. Kevin's Mom was unwell and she had come to the living room (where we were all seated). She had exhausted her tears an was clearly not herself. Other family memebers coaxed them to have some breakfast and thanks to the good lord, they did.

It was around 0830 hrs in the morning (20 January) that I took leave of the Seraos and headed for the room guest house that Gregory had arranged for and I slept.

I woke up freshened and got the call from Vinod that I was waiting for to head to the Seraos once again. It was 1230 hrs in the morning and people started gathering at the Serao's residence (The Nest). The body had not arrived by then and we were all waiting. From this time on I had lost the notion of time.

The body had arrived in a coffin draped in Air Force flag with deepika in front (in uniform) and his squandron members carrying the coffin on their shoulders. They made the slow march into the Serrao's residence with the crowd behind them. The body was placed and people kept coming in to pay their respects- young, old almost any Manglorean who could come their and bid Ronnie- the proud son of Mangalore, farewell.

The members of the family sang prayers in English and Konkani reciting psalms from the Bible with the band members playing songs of lament. The air was solemn. Kevin's parent were stroking the coffin with their hands as parents put their little babies go to sleep.

I took a breather outside for a while as I was feeling uncomfortable taking out my camera and start snapping pictures. But then I had to, its for all you guys who were close to Kevin and wanted to be with him at the place where I was. I started to take pictures at the time when the coffin was being brought out of the "The Nest". Sadness in Kevin's Parents was palpable they were never to see their son's face for the last time through the sealed coffin. I was a little pissed off with the Air Force for that.

The body was placed in a van and the crowd processioned in two file towards the church. There was a lady (neighbour of the Seraos) who walked beside who guessed whether I was a friend of Kevin. I spoke to her about Kevin and all of the friends he had who couldn't make it. I think she already knew that.

We headed for the the Church and the whole of the assembly was packed with people. The body was placed at the altar with the nearest members of the family seated in front followed by the representative Kevin's squandron members and the 3 wings of the armed forces, followed by the multitude of people-friends, well wishers and even strangers. The service started with the priests trying to make sense of it all quoting the Bible, singing psalms and narrating parables. Frankly it did help. The formal education that we all have had tells us to be sceptical about everything and try use logic to answer all our problems. Death is an Exception. As the priest said - Death is a leveler. 

One parable that was narrated stayed in my mind.

Once there lived a Gardner who loved his flowers, he was particularly fond of a plant and he would go about giving special attention to - day in and day out. One day the plant had vanished from the garden and he was very upset, he searched and searched and it was never to be found. Then he realised that the plant had been taken by the owner of the garden and the owner placed it close to himself in his home.

The purport is that the Gardner never owned the garden and he had no right over the flowers that blossomed in it. Similarly we have no right over anything in this world, its God's World and it his choice that governs whatever happens.

The service ended and the coffin was taken for burial. The whole congregation followed towards the graveyard. At pessimistic estimates there were about 2500 people gathered at the graveyard to witness the rites.

21 gun salute was given by the Police

I could somehow manage to pour soil over Ronnie's final resting place.

I extended my condolences to all the family members who were outside the graveyard and most moved by Ronnie's mother (Jessica Serao). Though she saw in the morning I did not realise that she could register who I was. When I was about to extended telling her that I was classmate of Ronnie at school my condolence she hugged me,  She was a Mother in pain.

I was empty, beat, I met Gregory Serao and he extended an invitation to diner at "The Nest".

More prayer meetings happened at the place and the dinner served. I had not met Deepika to extend my condolences to Deepika (Wife of Kevin) throughout the day and I wished I could before I left. She was very strong and an epitome of dignity and strength throughout the whole day. Just I was about to leave I requested Gregory, if its not too much, to speak to Deepika. He was very kind to let me speak to Deepika at the very difficult moment with all the tire and stress taking its toll on the family memebers. I finally spoke to her and I was glad that I could extend my condolences and on behalf of all you guys.

With that I left for the Bus Station to head back to Bangalore.

To all of you guys who were very close to Kevin....who wanted to be there but could not, as I was speaking to Vaishu yesterday ....it is important that all of you guys make a trip to Mangalore an extend your support to Kevin's family. They need a lot of support from their well wishers to negotiate this tough phase in life and I know it would make Ronnie Happy indeed. Do not feel bad that you could not meet Ronnie in his final journey, you guys would do a greater good in helping his family come out from the loss and help them be happy again.

For me it has been a very moving experience. I feel that I should have made an effort to know Ronnie more than what I knew about him. And I guess may be that is why I was in Manglore, for the last opportunity to know him, and I guess I did

All the very best to all you guys, live a good life

Kaustav

P.S: Give me sometime, on a worse case, I would get upload the photgraph from my side by this weekend.

 

Health- Make it Count

When I opened the glass door to the balcony this morning I felt the energy of the new morning hit me like a wave on the sea shore. The energy of the Sun energizing the lives- eagles, birds, stray dogs, the bamboos, large trees, people taking a walk, energizing the very air I breathe and the very energy that I can touch, inhale, see, hear and feel. The Earth, slumber of the night wakes up to the morning Sun, a love story that spans the whole of our existence. Sun the provider of the energy propels our daily lives and we work and exist in a perpetual serendipity – such a beauty and a mystery called Life.


No wonder Sun has been the centre of many of our ancient religions and eulogies are endless and I am not competent enough to say more. But whatever said and done Sun is still the manifestation of Energy, without getting into scientific terminology that we associate all and sundry that would take away the intimacy we share with the meaning of that Star in our daily lives. We just know we don’t need say more. The energy chooses to travel for 8 minutes from its source energizing the earth with its climate and life on it. This energy pervades everything, bedrock of any action or inaction, animate or in-animate, our very lives. The bedrock of the millions of years of evolution of all of us. Philosophy, Science, Religion all have wanted to pin this very energy down giving it dimensions, shapes, models ultimately evolving into super human manifestations the so called God. No matter how hard, or painstaking effort went into the designs of this all-mighty, all that was eventually left behind are towers of Babel, lives ostracized, crucified, wars, bloodshed, books fomenting revolutions. Whether the designs affirm the almighty or denies it, no matter what has been done it has only added to the mischief.

All said our daily existence is not a theory. We may not know our body, our brains, and not knowing how to figure it out. Invariably we expect somebody else to do it for us, we fear straying away, making a mistake, afraid, scared and all the while we are running out of options, the world continues to change tick-tock, tick-tock… As Pink Floyd’s Time goes

“…And then one day you find
Ten Year’s have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun”

Our ambitions, dreams, expectations, peer pressures, politics, and complexes and with all these we are to walk. All this is paid for by our health. Health, a word that talks of about the well being of our body. Health, the provider for the entire endeavor we are to embark upon, whether we really know or do not know the reason behind them is immaterial. Health- The manifestation of the energy that this beautiful being seems to represent. The bedrock of this health is the balance that body and mind has in a mysterious way to channel the energy to invest in things we do. We are not sensitive about the impact some thought, habit has on our health and are sensitive to some others. We may or may not be fully prepared to some things before it hits us hard. We remember such experiences and end up becoming wiser if we learn. What seems true today need not be so tomorrow. Our perception changes with experience, it is more dynamic than we would normally admit. It can pick up any stray thought and affirm it for both good and bad. Thermodynamics would refer to this as entropy or as Aristotle maintained pure reason is a fallacy. So then we wonder what is to be done.

For 60 plus years J.Krishnamurti had a very simple message- Question, question everything. It makes so much sense because questioning is a means with which we explore the world- ourselves and that around us. We may have to be ready to take our definite ideas to dumps and acquire new ones or go back to the dump revisit the ideas that were thrown. Better to be humble for the simple reason that Ego comes in the way of learning. In the end we don't know. It is not our choice to make of what is to happen. We are sailors on the sail boat waiting for the right wind to take us forward- our job is to get the boat ready and wait. Our beliefs in the grand scheme of things may mean nothing- Questioning our thoughts, our beliefs everything, no exceptions, even questioning the act of questioning. Only after carefully sifting through the silt on the river bed would we chance upon that nugget worth more than gold.

We need to get this equipment the body and the mind in pristine order in order to navigate our lives. The body questions its constitution through exercise and the mind questions its assumptions through observation. In this exercise and observation the body stumbles upon wisdom that makes living worthwhile. There is no one way to do but somehow geniuses are born to demonstrate it to us that there is really many ways, techniques, or make us question our own ways or perhaps a way of no-way. Perhaps this is the course correction that the entire human organism constituting every individual mysteriously takes in order to make sure that the entire species is on the path of sustenance- cycle of balanced birth and death, making sure that the species does not die out or some such theory. Though fantastic it after all is a mere interpretation. We take seconds to swath through millions of years of existence; we are bound to go wrong. The body and the mind must unite becoming one before we get to see a more accurate picture. As the Musketeers would call "All for one and one for all".

All said and done the Sun rises every day; the life wakes up every day, does its day's work and goes to sleep. In so doing the various species live and by design or accident cooperate or at least it, seem to. Humans are albeit connected but somehow the prevailing perceptions have taken us away from the grand balance. Until we course correct and get to where we should be the pursuit will be on, if we disregard this movement evolution catches up on us. The body cannot hog the carbs and dwell in inactivity for soon the mind gets heads straight to bad habits, negative attitudes, depression and the body en route to manifest symptoms of the so called lifestyle diseases. The fall is precipitous each bad habit, physical or mental affirms itself more and more and we pay the price with our health. It not only affects the individual but all those near and dear. Our health is like a spinning top, the spin will sustain the balance until the momentum wanes, wobbling starts and then sudden abrupt end. One doesn't have to start on the road to enlightenment for world peace. The charity can begin at home where the chores have to be done without getting bogged down. One can begin with simple problems before going for the question of all questions. But first the health, without which everything else is naught.

We have not made things any easier for us. There are opinions, perceptions and stereotypes that we need to break free from- 6-8 pack abs, zero figure, health products, latest and greatest training regimes (we don’t get tired of them, do we?). Although sometimes even a mindless action movie can throw nuggets of wisdom

"Assumption is the mother of all f*** ups"
              - Under Siege Part 2: Dark Territory

We have to fight out lethargy, inaction and host of other problems, it can be excruciatingly frustrating. Even all the motivating stories of our heroes may not be helping. It is a challenge that takes courage, sincerity and resolve to confront our fears and hang ups. One may not have answers, religions may be of no help only thing perhaps one would do is to wager for hope. Only thing that will perhaps cushion the blows would be one's health as Lao Tse in his life’s work Dao De Jing put

"...The wise therefore rule by emptying
hearts and stuffing bellies, by
weakening ambitions and
strengthening bones."

And when we do surmount the difficulties there can only be relief and the sense gratefulness of taking care of one's self holistically. By whatever means, we need the very energy that we choose to eulogize or otherwise. From where, how, how come, that is only a way to paralyzing one's intellect. In the meanwhile let me enjoy the morning just for what it is.



-Kaustav