Perhaps, I am being a biggest fool throwing away an oppurtunity of a lifetime to be in "Stanford". Well, so be it. I dont believe that life has a boundary condition within which the duty of a sane individual is to have a reason to live within a predictable pattern for the sake of happiness. Why? I dont want it. I dont want life to be defined in that manner for my sake. If I intend to study the Geo-Political evolution of civilization post Alexander's death then I feel no compunction in doing that....same goes to understanding quantum mechanical formulation behind the Helical Structure of genes. I wont answer anybody and the reason for my passions are my own. The behavior of human changes depending upon the social circumstance of the subject. I have experienced that over the course of a week.
When I met the would be Stanford Grads at the Isphani Centre (Chennai) I was struck at how I was inadvertantly conforming myself to the nameless mass of Automatons making no sense. I have a speactacular job in Bangalore and I am Gung-Ho about it but the feeling turned out weak for an admit from Stan shook totally away from what I actually want to pursue in life. Meeting those kids really got back to where I am now- Go to Bangalore and design systems and understand the philosophy of creative discipline.
I agree that there are people who would kill to get into Stan but when I am really able to see through the futility of living a life of no purpose I must stick by what I think is correct for me- right or wrong is immaterial. The choice is mine and this is what I want to do at this juncture- not go to Stan. My best wishes are with those kids I met.
When I told about my Stan admit, Babaji and Musing's face lit up. Babaji was like a really committed sports psychologist boosting my mental toughness. Musing was like a desparate fan backing his favorit boxer to win the WBA title. But that is not what I want. Too bad for those chaps and I believe they would make last ditch effort to convince me otherwise. Too bad, they wouldn't even know why I am doing this. Well, beyond a point friends should remain where they are ... outside the world where I live with myself.
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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;
.
.
.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference
Long way ahead. All the best.
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