Whats with.....

With the upbringing in the beautiful IIT campus in Chennai I have been isolated from the people of various backgrounds resulting in intolerance over inequities within me and in others. But is it so bad that I am to change my persona to suit the general mass?

My first feeling towards others when I meet them for the first time is trust, a thought that they would not have anything ulterior towards me. Fine, but thing do turn out to be unsavoury when I discover that hey!-- thats not fare. I was fuming when a guy casually asked about Malani's Baggage handling into the Brake Van broached Rs. 300/- to be the sum to get the Baggage in. Fuming is an under-statement, I wanted to break into fist fights right that instant. Take the pleasure of knocking that scum out of the his earthly senses. Common Sense prevailed and nobody was hurt.

My first crush, the feeling that led me to believe that there is some sort of Divine Sanction to pursue my "love" at any cost. But things are totally different today with maturity over issues relating to the matters of the opposite sex. I have had my fingers burnt in the process when believing that I had the total mastery over the circumstances of my pursuit.

Is Heroic all that Black and White? I extol heroism and the personal values a person carries into the pursuit of an heroic act. But I realize that there is no set pattern a person should pursue in order to exceed him/herself. Core values however are important. Shedding pride not Ego, shedding emotions and being stoic, and believing that there is always a better way. However, the persona of a person can be varied -- he can be a clown and he can be morose.

I am not an ideal entity and to state an ideal itself is a limiting act. My pursuit, whether in joy and sorrow, is to exceed myself in every step of my existence. If I dont then I am sad.

Controlling over emotions is the main goal I want to achieve over the foreseeable course of time. Letting the situation take its own natural end is difficult without a vortex of emotions clouding my judgement. If I do then its some achievment, tough but worth it.