This will be a series till the number 101 is reached. I am definitely sure that many will agree that surviving a marriage is no mean thing. This article is dedicated to my wife, soulmate Rini. Rini always wonders why I don't think more about her. It took her every sweat to prepare those bhajjis for me to elicit a blog entry Bhajji on Bliss, a Guest appearance in Elvis Karmapa and illusion 2.0 and no where to be found in Discovering Ones Self the Tai Chi Way or Retreat Diaries. She wonders do I think about her?...I do and I would share the wisdom for your benefit.
This is dedicated to her. Now I present my accumulated wisdom for you folks.
The First 10.
1. You can never know a Woman's mind neither a Woman know yours.
-Gentlemen, be on your toes always, never make an opinion about your partner. Your job is to listen to your partner carefully and in so doing you may or may not annoy her but do not bother, pay attention, go with what you know to what she is saying. Learn. Study hard. Do not bring in your prejudices and your opinions they do not have any place in a relationship. Acknowledge your mistake. Be careful about making promises because you may have to meet them. Surviving a marriage is about being in harmony, going with the flow, the minute you think you know about your partner, BOOM, its gone your ship has sunk. Keep learning something new every time, your relationship will be fresh, knowledge will only make things stale. Don't rely on a movie or rock star or Romantic Movies to tell you what love and relationship is all about. Nor any of those novels or philosophy helps. They only complicates matters. Approach your partner with a clear head. All the very best. If you take my word its a wonderful roller-coaster ride- Enjoy.
2. Remember Dates atleast her Birthday and your Marriage anniversary
-Take those memory pills, go do yoga, meditate, do whatever, never forget.
3. Women have mood swings don't take it against her
-Don't make too much of an opinion about her mood. There moods will swing, approach it rationally. You might as well enjoy it. Its like surfing those treacherous waves of Hawaii. It comes and goes but be ready for another.
4. Demonstrate respect to her parents
-Don't forget her parents. Be equal in your affection between yours and hers.
5. Complement her
-Whether it makes sense or not complement. Then laugh with her.
6. Be yourself
-You do not have to be someone else and she has to learn who you really are in order to survive you. If you are a psychotic killer, wandering nomad, philosopher or a religious fanatic even then be your self find a partner that complements you else God Help You.
7. Help in house work...at least try
-I am not that much of a home improvement guy and I try not to get in Rini's way. I try and help at times it is difficult to remember the zillion details that go behind making a HOME. Appreciate this. Get of your bum and help her out. But hey do plan your quality Bum-ing Time, and remember after marriage the quality gets more important than quantity.
8. You will get on her nerves, accept it
-As Asop in one of his Fables rightly demonstrates "Familiarity Breeds Contempt". You are not going to be the Hero all the time. But there will be times when you will be, MAKE IT COUNT
9. Give Space
-Both the partners need there own space.
10. Fight and get it of your chest and forget it
-Fight tooth and nail. Get it of your chest. Do not bottle up. If it bothers so much that you are about to explode, please explode. If you had expressed yourself sooner there will never be a reason to explode in the first place.
Love, nobody can tell you what it is,...you got to find out for yourself
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